Intimate Couples are Happy Couples
Posted: Saturday, May 22, 2010
by Janka Bond
http://www.thingstodosandiego.blogspot.com
According to Redbook magazine, 98% of happy couples say they intimately know and understand their partners. I was very intrigued by this statement as I have always been striving for the ultimate closeness and barrier-free communication between my partner and I. If you ask me, I don't believe that an air of mystery keeps the flame alive. The older I get, the more I am convinced that intimacy is crucial to a happy and fulfilling relationship. Exclusive sharing of emotional and physical intimacy, a private world that was developed taking precedence of all other relationship – this is something I will never stop striving for.
We do things that our mate might not always understand. We communicate, compromise, and yes, sometimes we argue. I guess I would prefer to avoid arguments; however I realize that disagreements are a normal part of any relationship. I am fine with them as long as they are constructive. As a part of my ongoing learning about relationships, mine and in general, I strive to follow the rules of productive arguing. Stick to the issue at hand, don’t use absolutes such as “never", be sincere and tell your partner how you feel. We are learning to talk in ways that bring positive responses. Still, the more he lets me in, the easier it is for me to understand and accept his choices, even if I myself might have chosen to do things differently.
Intimacy to me is being at complete ease with each other. When he sees me with a face mask on, we might joke a little (something about ghosts) but I am comfortable because I know his liking for me is not only skin deep. Don’t get me wrong, I always make an effort when it comes to my appearance, regardless of whether I am at the office or relaxing at home. I wasn’t always comfortable to be seen by my man when I didn’t look my best. As we are building intimacy however, I am learning that love has nothing to do with perfectly done hair or glowing skin. (Even though I will never give up pursuing those).
Intimacy doesn't only have to mean engaging in a heavy conversation. Yes, it’s crucial to be able to talk about who you really are and say what you need and want, knowing you’ll be heard by him/her. At the same time, intimacy is laughing about a childhood story or an embarrassing moment, talking about your dreams or taking part in a little exercise called "I feel loved by you when..." What matters is the sense of mutuality, where you are as concerned with your partner’s happiness as you are with your own.
I know, it's an ongoing process, I believe that even the most compatible couples need to constantly work on their relationship. There is a lot to learn about each other as well as oneself. There is a lot on the agenda in the school of Happy Couples, but I don't mind taking my time. I love being a student here.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)You sound like a very nice young lady. The "School of Happy Couples" is an interesting concept. i'm not really sure I understand it though. I rather think the school of real life would be more effective in building a relationship to withstand the boot camp of the world. but Happy trails!Thank you for reading and your support Eve...I just feel that there is so much to learn in order to have a successful fulfilling relationship...I guess one can easily extend this learning process to any relationship throughout their life. Boot camp of the world, boot camp of the relationship...depends on the way you look at it...:-)
It was wonderful to read your article, Janka! I love your approach to your relationship, I find it very inspiring. Thanks.Thank you Jennifer!
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